My Barn Burned Down

My First Pet Portrait: Samantha, 1999-2008

One of my favorite quotes is, I think, an old zen saying: “My barn burned down. Now I can see the moon.” It sums up how I try to approach life, finding the blessings in life’s ups and downs. In 2008, for probably the fourth major time in my life, “my barn burned down”, and I had to reinvent my life. Besides my spiritual practices, I found that returning to those long neglected paintbrushes helped me find my way out of the dark. After reading many artists’ blogs and finding so much inspiration from them — not just about how to paint, but more about how to have the courage to paint anyway — I decided to start blogging as a commitment to myself to join this community. I just put up my first ‘for sale’ paintings on eBay and I cannot believe the negative self-talk and anxiety that has plagued me all day. But I refuse to listen. I know they’re not as skillful as I’d like, but I feel if I wait until I think they’re “good enough” I’ll be dead first! Finally, tonight, I feel that it’s fine if they don’t sell, I feel happy I had the courage to step out into this world of art.  Later I’ll tell you all the wonderful artists and resources I’ve found online so that if you, too, want to know the healing power of color and a paintbrush you can come on in. The water’s warm.

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